Eggs by Mail.

Haunting the office on all recess and lunch breaks did not cause my eggs to appear.

Plus side, the incubator is all warmed and ready to go.  Still, if I don't set eggs this week we're not attempting hatching magic this year, so I'm off to hunt down more eggs.  (I decided against buying eggs at the Farmers' Market because I don't want bantams and I had a child birthday party to attend.)

Oviparosity.

I spent forty-five minutes giving the incubator a good (including bleach: internet beats manufacturer directions, I think) cleaning, an hour deciding the automatic turner didn't work and clicking my way to "confirm" to buy a new one with overnight shipping before realizing I'd plugged it in to the dud outlet, and making a large, threatening "Do Not Touch" sign for the incubator.

I'm expecting the eggs today.

Chicken Impossible, Year Two.

I field questions related to the chicks - where are they, will there be more, when exactly are those more coming, etc. - everyday.  Unfortunately, many of these questions are asked by small children, for whom time concepts are not entirely concrete as yet.  March is far away.

By the time I do get eggs and set up the incubator, I have to wonder if chicken fatigue will have set in...but I doubt it.

I got funding for the Chicken Impossible: Anti-Slug Action Force project, which means I will need to come up with some graphical representation of when, exactly, we will need to set up the hutch and the pen and the brooder.  It also means I have committed to chicken stewardship at my home over the summer, which should be an adventure.

In other news, after reading this, I have decided that in the future I will be referring to Michelle Rhee as a "paid Republican Party spokesperson".

Two kids from my class got waitpool requests; we were reputed to have a waitlist (since EPC was erroneously listing us as full) which means we may receive a bunch of new students over the next couple of days.  We'll see.  Enrollment is up but the Ks are still smallish this year.  I am hoping we can maintain that since this is a year with a heavy majority of students who didn't attend preschool and a lot of four year olds.  That doesn't preclude Kindergarten success, but it does require different strategies and a lot of differentiation.  All of that is easier with smaller classes - even twenty two children makes for a big class when the target is fluent reading and Common Core standards math mastery.

No Stress Free Path

I'm debating whether or not to go into school for a little bit today.  I spent five hours there Saturday, completing the following tasks:

• accepted a delivery of popcorn kernels, yogurt, all-fruit popsicles, healthy granola bars and bottled water for my class snacks this week
• whacked my head on the freezer hard enough to raise a big ugly bruise at my hairline
• filled out, had signed and faxed four bus requests to the Transportation Office (a trip to the Farmers' Market for each K and 1st and a trip to the California Academy of Sciences for my class and another Kindergarten)
• Received a final roster.  I'm back up to 22 students, but a child who toured my room and had his picture taken with me last week was switched yet again into another class.  Someone or some program at the District office is constantly fiddling with class lists over the last week before school starts, and it's really irritating.  Anyway, I'll be starting with 23 on my roster.
• Made copies and filed everything.
• Set up baskets, etc. for Reading Workshop.
• Collected and stored some of my classroom workbooks.
• Ordered this, a couple of these* and some hand sanitizer
• Wrote out lesson plans for the week
• Did some final cleaning
• Got first day intake materials together.  On the first day of school, I have a worksheet so that I have a single, in-room class list that provides the following for each child: 
• a telephone number guaranteed to be answered that day at all times,
• any allergies
• what the child will be doing after school, with a back-up plan if the child is planning to attend the afterschool program but has not been officially registered (there will be a full waitlist), the exact bus stop at which the child disembarks and the name of the adult who is picking up the child there, or the name of the adult picking the child up at school.
• In addition to getting the list filled out, I pass out my class letter, a general field trip form for all walking field trips (for those occasions when a child forgets an event-based walking trip form) and put a name necklace on each child.  This is hectic.
• Made sure I had gone over my rising first graders with each first grade teacher
• Failed to fix the dollhouse and refusing-to-open file cabinet
• Confirmed that my incubator still works (yay!)
• Missed not one, but two buses

If I went over today, I would drop off some Sharpie markers, a chart tablet and these.  Then I would just walk around my room a little, make sure I had plenty of sometimes and anytime snacks pictures for our collage and write a list of sparklers.  No matter how many years I do this, there will be at least one brief moment every day the first week wherein a significant minority of the class is exhausted, hungry and hot and I suddenly forget everything I know about teaching.  I do not think a list will keep this from happening, but it might inure me against feeling a total failure when it does.

The biggest thing I've learned about Kindergarten is that the first couple of weeks are the hardest part of the year.  I feel especially horrible about the kids being tired and cranky toward the end of the day because it is the beginning of the year: they don't know about all the cool and awesome fun we will have as the year goes on.  Moreover, since this is the first week, my Resident will be leaving an hour before the end of the school day, so the most difficult portion of the day during the most difficult portion of the year will be just me.  

I have a giant fan now, courtesy Donors Choose, and I think that will help a great deal.  I also filled four spray bottles for misting, and scheduled PE (indoor and outdoor), cooperative and imaginative play for the last hour.  Historically, I have avoided outdoor PE the first week due to the hassle of collecting backpacks, placing them on the lower yard bench without anyone fleeing for the Kindergarten yard, etc. This year, I'm going to have the Resident help me get them to the yard before she leaves.  The first day will be either parachute or ribbon wands, depending on child fatigue (the parachute is a lot of work, physically).  So I'm crossing my fingers against the likelihood of someone deciding to test the teacher's boundaries by bolting for the lower yard play structure.  My goal this year is to go with the flow: five year olds are five, and that's going to mean some tired, cranky kids.  Getting tired and cranky because they won't do what I had planned does no one any good.  Still, I don't intend to flow to lower yard play structure use on the first day.

Typing this up has made me feel less stressed out: the benefits of navel-gazing on one's internal psychodrama are real!  Maybe I won't go in.  That would be ideal, honestly: I'd like to go to the gym before I go to Outside Lands.

My only other major worry is around eating.  Having ended my medication holiday, I am readjusting to Adderall, which was originally developed and marketed as a weight-loss drug.  For me, the drug improves my focus enough that I don't so much forget to eat as

a. I decide to eat whenever I finish, but since there's always something else to do I don't ever finish.
b. I have adequate focus that I do not get distracted and decide that I need a snack.

And then when I do eat I am not very hungry.  This side effect doesn't last that long, but what with the endless tasks of the first week of school, I didn't eat very much.  I didn't notice any major low blood sugar side effects, but when managing twenty three brand new Kindergartners, you want all systems at go.**  So I think I'm going to pack small but powerful lunches (packing a lunch being one of the skills Adderall helps me master).  I'm also going to stay at the very small dose level at which I restarted.

*I have everything I need to make kaleidoscopes except caps.  My theory is that making these easier ones will enable me to make caps and use my materials next year. Making a good kaleidoscope is a little complicated, and since this will be an early in the year project, I really want it to work well.
**I have efficiently managed Kindergartens without medication; however, currently I feel that my life in general - including all portions that do not take place on school grounds - benefit from a combination of ADHD management strategies including medication.  Besides, other than the eating, the improved focus, decreased fidgeting and lowered stress levels really make for a happier me.

Goals for the Year

1. Run a reduced version of the Bread unit.  I wrote this unit with a first grade teacher who is no longer at my school, and it is too complicated, expensive and time-consuming to run alone.  Also, the  cross-age factor is really key for the unit.   I did a really reduced version last year with a 2nd grade class around Day of the Dead.  Maybe I can talk to that teacher and we can plan a four-week unit.  It covers a lot of social studies and science standards.
2. Always have eight projects in process at Donors Choose.  That is the maximum you are allowed to have, although there was some kind of system flaw and I presently have nine (three funded and waiting for school to start, six partially or unfunded).  This is the only way I get any of the classroom supplies I really want and need other than buying them myself, and I can always hope a foundation will buy all the California projects again.
3. Continue to develop major, multi-day art projects.  I think the kids get a lot out of these beyond a really nice product: they develop a lot of patience.
4. Chickens.   Right now I am thinking I will just try to hatch six eggs, in March.  That way if the hatch fails I can try again in April.  These will be silkies.  I need to make sure the incubator was not broken over the summer - I found it on the floor and partially out of the box when I returned to start setting up the room, which is a drag because I had stored it very carefully - and bite the bullet and order another one if it is broken.  If it is broken, I might request that the school replace it but I think that would be a big fat no.
5. In the spring, have some kind of weekly fashion design club with older students.  Self-explanatory.  The afterschool program sort of had one, but frankly: I could do a lot better.  Originally I was thinking to start a cheerleading club - I was a cheerleader, it's not that big a stretch - but I think that would be more of a time commitment than I am willing to make.  (You see, I am not one of those good teachers, those eager beavers without a personal life.)

How List Making Went

I was absolutely supposed to:

• laminating several sets of flash cards for long-term viability,
• mapping out where the furniture goes this year, and

I didn't map out furniture, which was probably a good thing in that I have several pieces I wanted to move that end up being an inch or so too big for where I wanted to put them.  However, finding this out without a map probably led to more furniture-moving than necessary.

• hanging fadeless paper and bordette on all appropriate surfaces.

It is a pet peeve of mine not to replace fadeless and border every year.  Fadeless fades; I'll use the same set of calendar tags for a few years but not bulletin boards: it's depressing.  I have four bulletin boards in my room.  I repapered three and papered one wall entirely.  The fourth bulletin board I didn't do because I didn't want to move everything in front of it and because I think it will probably be the calendar wall (which requires special treatment).

I may also consider:

• Moving the library to the other side of the classroom (this is a major endeavor),

I decided against this.  I worked out a new way to contain the enormous quantity of books.  I'm still planning to clear out some books and give them to the ex-Resident, I think.

• Plugging in the computers and printing out game sets, and
• Hanging filters and contact paper on all the windows (to cut down on glare/heat).

I did none of the things on my "don't do" list, and I also:

• moved the computers elsewhere
• fixed a shelving unit
• had a mild fit when I realized one of my classroom rugs was thrown away.  Admittedly, it was very old.  However, since it is unlikely to be replaced, it's a loss
• had a larger fit when I realized my incubator had been moved, dropped, and badly re-boxed during the waxing process.  I could not bear to see if it was broken but will have to go in and check that.  It's $150 to replace it and I need to buy silkie eggs this year, so...argh.
• broke an extra brooder light bulb and hunted the hall for my broom and dustpan to sweep it up.

And that's that.

I am checked out of my classroom (after an all-day Sunday adventure in stuff-moving, stuff-cleaning and stuff-trashing)!  I swear, next year I'm showing a video on the last day of school, not doing Child Pollock and other fun stuff.

...That said, for unknown reasons, we had several parents tour this week.  Early in the week, my classroom had Paper People remnants and various art activities out.  Not to mention an enormous coop of chickens.  By the last drop by, two hours before school got out for the year, it was a disaster zone of take-home backpacks, tear-downs, and craft explosions.  And an enormous coop of chickens.  I had paint in my hair from the action painting, so you can imagine what the kids looked like.  I do not think this makes a good impression, but really: on the last day of school, maybe don't tour.

At 4:30 on Friday, all 6 remaining pink slips at my site were rescinded!

I remembered to pass out everything I needed to and give away things I wanted to get rid of (like Moon Sand, the world's messiest substance.  That stuff leaves glitter in...well, in the dust.)!

I adopted out all my chicks!

I restrained myself from accepting an offer to raise my pet chicken Egghead for my retrieval in August!

I am registered for the Special Education PD in August!  (This means I'm skipping my site PD, and man, am I so happy about that.  Not that I'm tired with my site, just that what with the high-needs school endless teacher churn it ends up being more or less the same PD over and over and over and over and over and over and...well, I have ADHD.)

I am taking an Adderall Holiday!  Providing I survive the Doom Sleepy, that is.

I am leaving for New York tomorrow!

In other news, I got a couple of really nice letters from parents and/or students.  I made plans with my Resident to do a massive classroom purge next week.  This will mean that all the shelf-papering I did is for naught, but will mean I have more space to store stuff.

I have five active projects up at Donors Choose and a sixth (about the Science of Jackson Pollock) in progress.  I am thinking about linking them here, although that would be the end of my "anonymity".

I had some awesome conversations the last week of school.

CHILD (to child): You're evil.
"EVIL" CHILD: HA HA.  Yes, I am.
E. Rat: No.  Let's not call each other 'evil'.
"EVIL" CHILD: But I AM evil.  Listen: (laughs maniacally).
CHILD: What does 'evil' mean?
NEW CHILD: Devils are evil.
E. Rat: Um.  Well, I guess evil means that you do bad things that hurt others...
CHILD: So it means bad?
NEW CHILD: Devils are bad.
E. Rat: Yes, but also that you do bad things because they are bad and you want to hurt others, and that makes you happy. (Resolves to check a dictionary later).  So calling someone evil is serious.
"EVIL" CHILD: That's why they laugh like this (laughs maniacally).
ADDITIONAL CHILD: But what about the minions?
E. Rat: What?
ADDITIONAL CHILD: The MINIONS!  Are they evil, too?
ANOTHER CHILD: Can YOU do an evil laugh?

...this went on for awhile.  I recounted this to someone later and that person suggested that the idea of "minions" might come from a movie.  I have no idea.

CHILD, HOLDING CHICK: Do chickens make chicken?
E. Rat: Can you explain that a little more?
CHILD: Like, do they make fried chicken?
E. Rat: Yes.
CHILD: WILL THIS CHICKEN MAKE FRIED CHICKEN?
E. Rat: (Assists child in loosening sudden death grip on chick).
CHILD: WILL THIS CHICKEN MAKE FRIED CHICKEN?
E. Rat: Um, this chicken is too little.
CHILD: Oh, okay.

I'm just not so fast on my feet after the Promograduation insanity, you see.

Educrats go home.

I am so tired and exhausted and fatigued and careworn and adjectivized of hearing that overturning teachers' due process rights "professionalizes" my profession.

If these people were serious about professionalizing my profession, there are any number of ways to do that that receive no interest from the deform crowd:

• They could stop expecting me to purchase my own office supplies.
• ...and my own office furniture.
• They could make every effort to ensure I can visit a restroom when I need to. 
• They could make sure my office is clean and safe.  You know, like making sure it even has a bathroom at all (two days with no water!  Thanks, City of San Francisco!  The twenty-minute K bathroom line on the upper-grade yard thanks you!).
• I'd have an expense account for the art supplies.

Okay, I need to stop now.  We didn't have water, but we did have a hairdresser on site, and now many teachers are boasting feather extensions.  We look fantastic.  I have given up on the hope of checking out of my classroom today - I need to open the school Sunday anyway - but I'm still joining Team Kindergarten for snacks and drinks after school.  Fancy people complimented my vintage McQueen getup at a fancy education thingamajig last night.  All of my chicks are adopted, and we should have working bathrooms and water fountains today.

And it's the last day with my awfully cute class.

And now, I go to work!

So Friday night, the chickens continued to grow.  How irritating of them to do all that life cycling!  Anyway, when I got to work Saturday it was clear that the current coop situation was untenable, so building a new, high-sided coop of chicken wire, duct tape and the old coop beat out every other responsibility.  Update:

1. Self-Portrait Banner: Glued-and-glittered the names of all the students, cut the paper to the right size.  I still need to glue the portraits themselves on.  One portrait needs to be finished.
2. Chicks: In possession of an even newer, even better coop that should take them through the week. 
3. Diplomas: FINISHED.
4. Assessment: FINISHED.
5. Report Cards: I. don't. want. to. talk. about. this.
6. Loading Cards: Need to attach assessments.
7. Cum Folders: Oh, yeah.  Gotta do these, too.
8. What I Am Doing Today: Going to work.

I have a UTR thing Thursday evening, and on Friday I'm checking into a sorta-fancy hotel with one of my Kindergarten cronies...and we're checking in at 3pm on the dot.  So I'm short afternoons to do mental health care (=go to the gym) and dentistry (of all times to break a tooth.  At least it's not visible) while also getting checked out of my classroom.  ARGH.

The sad possibility that I leave for New York Tuesday week (la la la la la la la) knowing I have to return to clean out my room grows.  I have considered making pledges ("No checkout, no visits to designer concessions!"), but I have this feeling that these would turn themselves into ("I will checkout all the faster so that I can wear this afterwards!").

(For the Responsibility Record: I have three homes for chickens, and if I have a couple of Straggler Chickens for whom I am caring for a couple of weeks, I do have someone on tap to take care of them while I New York it up.)

Promograduation is Tuesday, and...

1. Instruments for performance of "Turn the World Around": Sanded, primed and painted.  Still need to be decorated.
2. Giant "Class of 2027" Banner: Decorated.
3. Paper People: Autobiographies written, affixed.  Googly eyes placed.  Most of the paper people have bottoms.  Still need jackets, hair, decorations and final coloring.
4. Self-Portrait Banner: Um.  Yes.  Er.  In Planning.
5. New Exciting Dress for the Teacher, Found at a Cost Point that Excuses Jello Mold Incidents at the Potluck: Check, Betsey Johnson crinolined prom dressy thing, bought secondhand.
6. Sashes for Graduates: Glittered.  (Each kid gets one; they read "Future (Insert Career Here)".
7. Chicks: In possession of larger new coop with bedding they cannot fully saturate with water for fun.
8. Diplomas: I have them.  They have nothing on them, but I have them.
9. Assessment: FINISHED.
10. Report Cards: I. don't. want. to. talk. about. this.
11. First Grade Class Loads: Done.
12. Loading Cards: Need to attach assessments.
13. What I Am Doing Today: Going to work.

Multiple Domiciles Possibly Needed.

I left 14 healthy chicks in their new, improved, larger brooder yesterday afternoon.

They are so popular I have had to start locking my classroom door when I am not there, lest I return to chick paparazzi children.

Hopefully they had a fine night of rest and will be healthy and happy this morning.

PG&E hates chickens.

I know because we had a power outage of adequate length that we had to move all the chickens - the ones in the incubator and the ones in the brooder (the kids named it "The Nest") - to another teacher's house.

They come back to school tomorrow.  13 have hatched and 2 more have pipped; one of the ones that pipped is not a healthy chicken and won't make it, I don't think.  This is sad and hard to explain to the kids. One of the ones that hatched today has shell stuck on its head and was attached to its umbilical cord for awhile.  It isn't drying very well.  Of course, it is my favorite chicken and the only one that I have secretly named in my head.  But otherwise they seem okay, especially given the whole "driving in a car after drastically falling temperatures".  We'll see.

In conclusion, PG&E tried to kill my class' chicks, the foul fiends.

Chicken Impossible Continues

Eggs Pipped Today: 10
Eggs Hatched Today: 4

One of the four chicks was so hot to get out of its shell that it wasn't entirely detached to the membrane and it bled a little.  By the time I left school, it had stopped.

Of course they started hatching as soon as school got out.  Another teacher taped one hatching while we were in a staff meeting, and I texted a bunch of parents to come and see if they wanted.  Some of my kids who are in after school came and saw two hatch.

Crossing my fingers they are dry, fluffy and alive tomorrow.  I have a 7am meeting, so I will see them bright and early.

Chicken Impossible!

We hooked up a "brooder" at school and found chick starter within city limits, which made for a win Saturday.

Also, we think we candled an egg.  We think there was a mass of soon-to-be-chick in it.