Keep the Candy at Home

"Halloween candy should stay at home.  Candy is not an everyday snack and is not allowed at school.  Also, candy eaten at school is taken away.  We do not throw it away.  We eat it in front of you while laughing like this (insert maniacal cackle).  After all, we are too old to go trick or treating and therefore do not get bags of free candy to eat...unless you bring yours to school."

Nearly singlehandedly, I am bringing Halloween back to my neighborhood.  Even though I did not pass out my address at school this year, we got quite a few trick or treaters and all but one family was from my school.  Every year, we get more despite the calendar date becoming less and less trick-or-treat friendly.  Key factors:

1. Prior years of address-giving,
2. Notorious electricity-wasting light displays,
3. Candy portioned out by the handful,
4. Possibility of viewing my pets.Preview