I'm baaaaaaack.

Hoarding All the Glitter Since 2001.

21 July 2010

Guide to School Personnel: Team Kindergarten

I know there are bright young Kindergarten teachers out there, just starting their careers...but I don't know any.  Kindergarten teachers always seem to be in their late twenties or older.  I think this is because Kindergarten really is different.  It's not like teaching any other elementary grade, and you either like it or loathe it.  The people who like it will never leave, and those who don't will flee as soon as possible.

I think Kindergarten used to get more than its fair share of burnt-out teachers, too.  Old-school Kindergarten is just alphabet, singing and playtime, right?  And those things aren't HARD, are they?  (Note world-weary, dripping sarcasm.)  So if you have a veteran who really needs a career change or a couple years in the book room, put that person at Kindergarten if you're too lazy to deal with the paperwork of evaluations and documentations and all that stuff.

These days, that doesn't really work anymore.  Kindergarten has some serious academic standards, and in SFUSD it's full day.  You are going to spend a lot of time crawling on the floor.  You will teach reading and also nose-blowing technique.  Shoes will be tied until you develop carpal tunnel.  It is not a job for the weak.

However, Kindergarten teacher fashion still branches down just two paths: Pooh Bear and Anti Pooh Bear.

Pooh Bear Kindergarten fashion is the home of your fabric painted sweatshirts, your wooden jewelry, your Disneyland memorabilia.  Denim is popular, and relaxed-fit is assumed no matter what the body type of the wearer.  These Kindergarten teachers have special clothing for at least seventy three holidays, some of which are extremely esoteric and known only to other Kindergarten teachers.  These teachers tend to make extremely cute parent presents.

Anti Pooh Bear teachers buy each other sweatshirts with cats on them as gag gifts.  This can lead to acrimony.  They know when the next Target and/or H&M designer collaboration is coming out and they have an opinion on it.  They tend to be really excellent shoppers and scroungers, which leads to very interesting and well-equipped classrooms and projects.   They have a favorite designer and are eagerly awaiting Sarah Burton's first collection as creative director at Alexander McQueen.

Needless to say, I am absolutely of the latter group.

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