I'm baaaaaaack.

Hoarding All the Glitter Since 2001.

26 September 2010

As I understand it, the premise of "Waiting for Corporate Takeover" is that

  1. Public schools are very bad.
  2. This is because they have teachers.
  3. Teachers are very bad.
  4. Especially when they have a union.
  5. Our conclusion has nothing to do with the fact that we represent powerful union-busting interests.
  6. Nor should our position as oligarchs who oppose civil servant pensions be held against us.
I hear that the august hedge fund managers, ex-Enron employees, Waltons and similar financing this film now have a new PR arm.  Apparently, they are Superman.

So here's what I don't get.  If the problem is teachers...the solution is hedge fund managers?

How does that work?  Certainly they aren't intending to pay taxes like regular citizens, thereby strengthening our public institutions.  And their "gifts" always seem to have too many strings attached - like union-busting, pension-killing, almighty dollar worshipping - to be heroic.

I am forced to assume that they're all applying for jobs in their local public school district.

YES!  They're going to be more irritating and harder to train than your average uncredentialed do-gooder, what with the Objectivism (to which I object) and the synergy and the cheese-moving and whatever else they're getting up to in the halls of finance, but I see financial opportunities.

I'm charging five hundred bucks for each worksheet I hand over, one thousand for every good substitute's phone number and a cool million to borrow my parachute for an hour.

I must put together a workgang next week so that we can paint "JOHN ARNOLD, APPLY HERE" on the roof of my school.  Four months and we'll have a fully-kitted sensory room and I will have the best wardrobe ever.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hedge fund managers applying for teaching jobs, thereby creating financial opportunities for current teachers .... I just spluttered coffee through my nose from laughing too hard. Thanks!